The Longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows

Oh Jonah!! Why didn't you know that you cannot really have God's love if you keep it inside the borders of anything?? Oh Jennifer...Why didn't you know that you cannot really box up God's plan and freeze frame it like a photo on your dorm room wall?? Here I was on the beautiful campus of PLNU, listening to the waves crash against the rocky, California coast, and completely unaware of the call that was about to shake up my life..!! In a few posts we will be carefully examining the role of Prophet and the role of the missionary, so keep reading because a whole lot about Jonah is coming soon!! For now, let's examine Malachi again, another minor prophet of God! Malachi 1 clearly states,

¹ A prophecy: The word of the LORD to Israel through Malachi.^[a]

Israel Doubts God’s Love

 ² “I have loved you,” says the LORD.

   “But you ask, ‘How have you loved us?’

   “Was not Esau Jacob’s brother?” declares the LORD. “Yet I have loved Jacob,³ but Esau I have hated, and I have turned his hill country into a wasteland and left his inheritance to the desert jackals.”

 ⁴ Edom may say, “Though we have been crushed, we will rebuild the ruins.”

   But this is what the LORD Almighty says: “They may build, but I will demolish. They will be called the Wicked Land, a people always under the wrath of the LORD. ⁵ You will see it with your own eyes and say, ‘Great is the LORD—even beyond the borders of Israel!’


Great is the Lord, Jennifer, even beyond the framework of your plans!!! Great is His Love, even beyond the rejection of many people, even beyond the rejection that may come from all people! "I Am" accepts you and that is all you need!! 

I clearly remember not "feeling it" for my music classes at PLNU! Truly, I wanted to succeed, and I wanted to play very well! However, under the pressure I put on myself to succeed, as a true "type A" personality, and under the pressure I began to feel when facing the reality of a major in music, something just went wrong! You know something, I don't even think that I enjoyed piano very much at all. Interestingly enough, I never realized this fact until I went to college. All throughout high school, my self confidence had been waning to say the least! Piano had always been an escape from the fact that I did not fit in very well in High school. In reality, music is a great outlet for releasing great emotion! Also,  I clearly remember telling myself that even if I had few friends, I had to practice the piano anyway in order to get a scholarship. Perhaps this was a way of coping with why I never made it to the Prom, or why I never was invited to the "party"!  All I know is that as soon as I got to college, playing the piano in order to perform really lacked luster and purpose for me. Uncertain about what that might mean for my future, I decided to stick out my freshman year as a piano major! Yes, Jennifer still earned all As and performed in piano!! But friends, Jennifer was simply lost! Completely confused and without direction I couldn't understand what in the world I was supposed to do next. Unfortunately, I realized right away that the grand acceptance I was hoping to find wasn't really happening for me. Lonely?? Lord?? Why does nothing feel right?? O.k. let's take inventory! I had no school bills, and terrific grades, two loving parents and a great roommate! Oh yeah, did I forget to mention God?? Sadly, we all do that sometimes don't we?? "Oh yes", we say, "I have God I guess!"  In fact, I admit that I was a little angry in my new testament class one day!! Convicted is actually a better description of what was going on inside. While studying the Scriptures, I remember really questioning what good purpose God was intending for me!  Yet, the pure comfort and mercy our Savior offers us was so clear in His word! Furthermore, I remember knowing there was so much more to God and His sacrifice that I really didn't grasp yet!  Yes, I admit that I was afraid..I needed to know what to do without acceptance and without direction and without a plan!! God! What do I do...?? I had always had God as a part of my life and that was no longer enough! I needed Him closer!! Too much chaos was going on inside of me..plans had failed, friends had failed and college seemed to fail to bring me what I needed: Christ's overwhelming work of Love that desperately desires to work itself in the surrendered heart.


Please listen to the words to this song by Fireflight for it describes my heart as I cried out to God! 

You know something, I was really wanting God to fill a void for me!! Truly, I had wanted other things in the past to help fill a really deep, deep need for acceptance; I was just beginning to see as I studied God's word that that acceptance is offered to us in Jesus! Still, I needed Him close! Still, I needed to hear from Him! Still, I was shaky on how to hold His hand! That's when God broke into the battle going on inside my mind. 1 John 4 revealed to me more about this love I was so desperately craving,

God’s Love and Ours

 ⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. ¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.


I knew it at that moment as I read that passage and many others like that of 1 John chapter 4! Yes, I knew that God had the love all along that I needed! I knew I had accepted Him into my heart long ago, and I knew that I wanted Him to lead my life, but God needed to be the only source of Love in my life! Yes, Lord, I want you to fill me with your love..Love comes not from me, or from anything else but You!! Just as the song from FireFlight describes that I was needing Him to break into my heart and hold me!! Friends, did you know that God's word can hold you fast! Did you know that God held me as I held His word in my heart? Still, even though I knew that I wanted God's plan and even though I knew more than ever that His spirit had been guiding me through tough times and leading me, I still felt shaky on where God wanted me! Yes, I still felt lonely when the world did not know me!! Soon, I was going to get a very special message from God, one that would change my life forever! No, this was not the call where Jennifer Ran to Tarshish...that call was coming soon too!! However, this was the call that let Jennifer know that she would be serving God as a missionary! Yes, everyone of us has a Nineveh!! Everyone of us has a scenario presented to us in life, where we say no with every inch of our sanity and our Faith says maybe with what ever is left!! Every one of us has a line that we just don't think we could ever cross for God...!! As we all find out, to surrender to God is to erase the line and to throw away the threshold of resistance! Surrender is when we stop saying no to crossing a difficult line and instead we put it all on the line for Him! Yes, He's always worth it and the longer we serve Him, the sweeter He grows. The Longer I love Him, more Love He bestows...Each day is like heaven and my heart overflows..Yes, the Longer I serve Him the sweeter He grows...

For tonight I leave you with a media clip of that precious Hymn, the Longer I serve Him...and in the next few days...we will hear how I first heard God's call to be a missionary! Blessings..! Please feel free to share how God first called you!!