So, how many of you are thinking about forgetting the promise of dancing in the rain? It's been a little bit of a drought for sure....!! I'm so very sorry for not writing! However, I must tell you that this part of my testimony..or God's story written for me...is to say the least...a hard one for me to reckon with at this time in my life!! Are any of you out there believers?? Pray for me?? Remember your sister out here in California that loves the Lord like you do?? God is moving mighty mountains in my life and though I go through the waters at this time, I know He is with me...!! Aren't you glad that the Eternal one is above time and space...???  I hope none of you lost your umbrellas and rain slickers, because we are going to experience some rain! Would you dance with me?  


'The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.’ Deuteronomy 33:27

Our God always keeps His promises and His eternal glory far out weighs all suffering!!!








Here we are together again, in the middle of the night, in a college dorm room at Point Loma Nazarene University! A term paper is due, a family history has been uncovered, and a delicate, young girl of 19 is learning about the call of the Lord.  After discovering the life of Fairy Chism, single missionary to Africa, and highlights of faith and calling from my Great Grandfather, J.T. Little and my Grandfather, Wilbert E. Little, I began to feel moved from within! Shaking literally to my core, I began to read more about 5 surrendered hearts, those of Roger Youderian, Jim Elliot, Nate Saint,  Ed McCully and Pete Fleming and their wives! In fact, Through Gates of Splendor, a prolific work written by Elizabeth Elliot, began to beckon me to a surrender of my own.  As I read about how 5 men and their wives came together, ended up in Ecuador, and laid down their lives to bring the good news to the Auca Indians, the Waodani of the Ecuadorian Jungle, I kept hearing one central theme emerge in the lives of these missionaries: Surrender! In truth, I kept hearing one call from the Lord that night: Surrender! Oh, I went through the logic of the call of the missionary, such as the fact that missionaries are moved to go because there are lost souls to be saved and someone has to go tell them the good news! (see Matthew 28)  And Oh, I went through the strategies of missions and how the missionary is trained to serve in the difficulties of cross cultural ministry.  Finally,  I even went through the romanticism of going to "unknown territories" and the adventure of it all!  However, most of all I was carried to the foot of the cross, where I met the sacrifice and the surrender that must take place to exchange our temporal lives for His Eternal life....!!! Whether we realize it or not, we must always reconcile with surrender! Truly, we must all realize that God is good all the time and that His plans are above time and space,  perfectly good for us in every way.
We must ultimately decide if we are willing to not just take up our cross in our journey as Christian disciples, but are we also willing to go make disciples at any cost...!!  The following video clip is called "God Leads His dear Children" and is a hymn that truly describes our Sovereign Lord's leadership! We follow not a shady promise of God that all will be easy or happy, but that He will always lead us to paths of righteousness and to still waters of His perfect peace.

When Elizabeth Elliot knew that her husband had gone into the jungle, made contact with the feared Waodani Indians of Ecuador, and that he was not responding over the radio, she was given this Scripture, 


" Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 
² When you pass through the waters, 
    I will be with you; 
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, 
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze. 
³ For I am the Lord your God, 
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;" (Isaiah 43: 2-3)


When you pass through the waters, I will be with you" Elizabeth recounts this Scripture meaning to her at the time that Jim Elliot's return was not promised to her, but rather that the Lord would be with her when she went through the waters...!! God indeed stayed with her and with all those who call upon the name of the Lord!! The Joy of the Redeemed is in the Eternal gift they know they possess!! Surrender and Obedience out of Love is the call of the missionary...it's an appropriate response...not an equivalent one! God gave it all for us and we simply say "Yes", in return!!  As I began to read Through Gates of Spendor, my heart began to pound out the question, "Jennifer? would you follow God no matter the road? No matter the Cross?" Jennifer do you trust God enough to say "Yes, Lord, Yes?" If God called you right now, would you say, "Yes?" Suddenly, my entire being felt warm and moved from within! I was typing my paper so fast and was almost finished when I decided to stop and read through the whole paper to see if there needed to be any more changes! Little did I know that the greatest change of all was going to be in my personal life! As I finished reading my paper, I knew that there needed to be some hook for the end about the call of the missionary! Not knowing for sure where to find such a quote and completely beckoned to read the rest of Through Gates of Splendor, I decided to risk taking the time to just finish the book in hopes that the quote would be in that book!
Honestly, I really wanted an excuse to finish the book! Ha! Well, the joke was on me, for I was soon to discover a quote that would change my life forever! Now, I know what all of you are thinking right now! You're thinking that you know the quote aren't you? You are all thinking that I'm going to quote Jim Elliot's famous quote? "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose" was not the quote that the Holy Spirit pressed upon my heart! True to the story found in Through Gates of Splendor, there were 5 missionaries that were martyred that day in Ecuador and 5 surrendered hearts, well actually, there were 11 surrendered hearts if we rightfully count the wives of the martyrs and Nate's sister, Rachel! Therefore, it is not at all surprising that the quote came from one of the others that laid down his life for the sake of bringing the gospel to those who did not have hope! I was reading a portion of the book about Roger Youderian! Roger was writing out a poem about his call and what God was calling all of them to do in Ecuador and how the call of God moved him. In fact, he had been wrestling with finishing this poem and couldn't get it quite right before the time came for the team to go into Auca territory! Therefore, he told his wife, Barbara, I'll just have to finish this when we get back! Of course, Roger never returned! Later his wife Barbara shared,
"He was cleansed through the Spirit for the task that lay ahead of him,"said Barbara afterward, 'and went with a happy, expectant mind and his heart full of joy.'"
Then Barbara shared Roger's last poetic words,
"On December 19th he wrote in his diary: 'I will die to self. I will begin to ask God to put me in a service of constant circumstances where to live Christ I must die to self. I will be alive unto God. That I may learn to love Him with my heart, mind, soul, and body.' Just before he left Macuma to join the four in Arajuno, he wrote
 his poem:
'There is a seeking of honest love
Drawn from a soul storm-tossed,
A seeking for the gain of Christ,
To bless the blinded, the beaten, the lost


Those who sought found Heavenly Love
And were filled with joy divine,
They walk today with Christ above...'


The last line eluded him and, as he put down his pencil, he said: 'Barb, I'll finish it when I get home.'


(p.155 Through Gates of Splendor).


 As you and I know, Roger would go home, to heaven! And the storms that the families faced never swayed their surrender to His Sovereignty!! Please enjoy this wonderful song about praising God in the storm by Casting Crowns,
















Lord, I cannot imagine what is going on inside of me! Pictures of the Maryters faces, stories of missionaries, such as the Garmans who were sent to Peru in great sacrifice and surrender, and stories my dad told me about the faith of the missionaries in times of grave danger were just flooding my mind! "Lord?" I prayed. "Would I go if you asked me to give it all like those that have gone before me?" I began to remember my Grandpa's book and his surrender. Ironically, the year that the book, Scalpel Please, went to print was the year that Addie and Larry Garman headed to Peru for the first time in 1965! Also incredible to me is that Addie once struggled to surrender to the daunting call of the Jungle mission. Just as surrender is always the key, Addie gave up everything precious to her in surrender and gained more blessing than she could ever tell! Fairy Chism had given it all as well, which was clear to me as I read through Fairy Chism's Bio and listened to her words about my Great Grandfather, J.T. Little! I was moved to say the least.  What's more, I couldn't believe how she knew God was calling her to go to Africa, but that she felt unprepared because part of her was not totally surrendered. As I read how Fairy laid it all down in surrender, while my Great Grandfather prayed with her, my heart began to pound louder and louder! My heart was finding something good and something beautiful within...something so indescribable! Everything that was entering into my mind through the testimonies of the missionaries made sense and fit every unanswered part to every question about my life in Christ, and questions about His purpose! Finally as I read Through Gates of Splendor and found Roger Yudorian's unfinished poem I was riveted upon every single word!
After finishing the poem,  my heart was beating wildly.. Suddenly, the Lord broke into the conversation as he spoke in a still small voice,

"I'm asking you"...!! "What Lord??" I asked.  "Will you go tell my story?" He asked. "Won't you follow my plan??" He beckoned. "Lord?? Are you asking me?? Lord?? Me???" I asked.  I had been asking God again and again for direction and for His will alone...!! I had been hoping to hear from Him and I desperately wanted His way!! To my complete surprise, God was speaking to me about His will for me at 4am..in my dorm room, through my Grandfather's journey, through Fairy Chism's journey and through the testimony of a marytered missionary that I'd never even heard of until that night.  "Lord?? I'm not sure if I'm getting this??? Lord??? Is this you???" I prayed desperately.  I was overwhelmed by my Grandfather's words, by my Great Grandfather's words..by God's words that came through both of them and finally by the calling...the specific calling to reach the lost that Roger Yudorian spoke of ...words that I felt I was a part of somehow...!! "Lord Jesus...I need to follow you and I will...follow you....!! Please Lord help me know that this is you calling me?? Are you in this Lord?? Are you calling me to be a missionary???"  


Imagine that it is 1998 and that you are there in my dorm room at 4am! Imagine these beautiful words coming on the CD player as song 6 from my favorite CD began to play, "Rain Down on Me" from Point of Grace's big hit, Steady on...!! Imagine that a 19 year old, once convinced she would find love somewhere other than God's embrace, now fully submitted and hearing His voice calling her to follow!  Just as God called Jonah to be a prophet, meaning one thing to him and something much greater to God, God was calling for Jennifer to surrender to the call...a call that meant one thing to her and something much greater to Him...

Jonah said yes to being a prophet...Jennifer was soon to say yes to God's call to go serve as a missionary...and the clouds began to roll..and the thunder began to clap...and the rain began to fall down...As this beautiful song played on my CD player, yes..this was before iPods..., I found myself crying and asking the Lord from the depths of my soul if He was calling me, if He was there, and if He heard me. Yes, Lord, like the lyrics of the song, I need you to rain down on me!! Suddenly, I heard the rain falling down outside! I ran to the window of my dorm and opened it! It was raining so hard! I was getting everything soaked and it felt like love all over the place! The rain on my face was God's special touch of grace and mercy, His special way of saying that He was there talking to me and He said, "I'm in this, Jennifer and I'm asking you to follow me no matter the cost." Yes, Lord...Yes...I'll go, though I don't know how and I don't know when...I'll go and I'm saying "Yes"! And, the rain ceased!

The truth is that Jonah was not the worst missionary of all time as some suggest! The truth is that Jonah was not even a missionary, but God's prophet!! How many of you can say that you were employed by God to do one thing and then called suddenly to do something that went against every fiber of your being? The point is not to know exactly where God is sending you and when, it's to say, "Yes" when you hear His voice; surrendered hearts know one phrase very well, "Yes, Lord!"

Hebrews 3:7-8

New International Version (NIV)

Warning Against Unbelief

 ⁷ So, as the Holy Spirit says:   “Today, if you hear his voice,

 ⁸ do not harden your hearts

as you did in the rebellion,

   during the time of testing in the wilderness,


Again, we are reminded that the Lord's voice calls us in majesty and establishes our steps in perfect peace,

Psalm 29

New International Version (NIV)

Psalm 29

A psalm of David.

¹ Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings, 
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
² Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
    worship the Lord in the splendor of his^[a] holiness.

³ The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
    the God of glory thunders, 
    the Lord thunders over the mighty waters. ⁴ The voice of the Lord is powerful; 
    the voice of the Lord is majestic.
⁵ The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
    the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. 
⁶ He makes Lebanon leap like a calf,
    Sirion^[b] like a young wild ox. 
⁷ The voice of the Lord strikes
    with flashes of lightning. 
⁸ The voice of the Lord shakes the desert;
    the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh. 
⁹ The voice of the Lord twists the oaks^[c] 
    and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, “Glory!”

¹⁰ The Lord sits enthroned over the flood; 
    the Lord is enthroned as King forever. 
¹¹ The Lord gives strength to his people; 
    the Lord blesses his people with peace.

"I know the plans that I have for you says the Sovereign Lord...!!" We are going to end with an ending to Roger's unfinished poem.  In fact, that is exactly how I ended my paper.  As I began to write the words, my heart was beating like wild drums! Had my roommate been there in that moment, I'm certain that she would have been able to hear the sound my heart was making!! Here Am I Lord! I don't know how you are calling me to go serve you in this way, the way of the missionary, but I'm available to you, Lord! God spoke loud and clear in response to me that night...God came and danced with me in the rain...!!!

They walk today with God above
Christ the Lord, the prize they gained
Rejoicing eternally over the call to love.
Rejoicing eternally to bear His name.


How would you finish the poem?